THIS IS A 2.5 HOUR VIDEO RECORDING OF A LIVE ZOOM WORKSHOP FROM DECEMBER 2022 EXPLORING WHAT IT MEANS TO UNCOUPLE FROM THE IDEALIZATION OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
(AN AUDIO VERSION ALSO INCLUDED) 

IT INCLUDES:

• an acknowledgement of how de–sacralized our lives have become and an invitation to enter into sacred space together

• a presentation on the history of compulsory heteronormative/monogamous couple-dom (often enforced through the violence of colonization) and an introduction to other ideas and frameworks for romantic partnerships

• embodied reflections, meditations, and journaling centering sacred love of self & world

YOU WILL ALSO RECEIVE:

• a list of resources and references

The original description of the workshop is below.

This purchase does not include the final 30 minutes of participant sharing from the live workshop, the zoom chats, or the playlist. 

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PRAISE for Uncoupling from Couple-Dom

It has now been two weeks since I attended Sebene’s workshop and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I’ve been trying to find harmony between my heart and mind when considering what Couple-Dom means for me and for our society at large, and the workshop helped me find some clarity and peace. I also felt part of a community seeking to understand relationships— that feeling of support and belonging has been incredibly helpful. Sebene has a gift for creating space for exploration and acceptance, and I feel grateful to have been part of that space.

— Anna P.

This is one of the best one-day workshops I've ever attended. Sebene communicates so beautifully and simply. The way she presented multiple interpretations of academic studies and long-held beliefs about couple-dom was phenomenal and more importantly, understandable. I've long questioned the institution of couple-dom that most of us were raised to believe in. My intentional, single self is enough right now. Society can be a powerful force, especially when it feels like you don't agree with the masses. Thank you Sebene,for such a positive experience. So grateful to have found this workshop!

— Jill G.

I would sign up for literally anything that Seb offers. This workshop helped crack through limiting assumptions about coupledom I didn't even know I had. I've been feeling more comfortable, happy, and empowered in my singleness ever since. Thank you, Seb!

— James U.

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"ALL AWAKENING TO LOVE IS SPIRTUAL AWAKENING." — bell hooks, All About Love

Many of us have been conditioned by the dominant culture to consider romantic coupledom as the key to love. We can feel deficient or even damaged if we are uncoupling, not-coupled, uncoupled or questioning our coupling.

I know.  It me.

Since I was a girl, I desperately longed for a romantic partner and I idealized coupledom. I had no mature models of marriage around me (literally not one) and no innate understanding of what makes a healthy couple. Yet, I decided (with the help of overdoses of mass media) that being coupled was the primary way to happiness. Finding a mate became a constant fixation. I projected most of my relational trauma and conditioning onto lovers and boyfriends. My abandonment patterns led me to fear being alone, even at the expense of abandoning parts of myself (or asking others to do the same).

I was devoted to the dominance of coupledom.

Couple-Dom (get it? 😛) – the imbalanced power we give to romantic relationships – can lead to abandonment of self & world. 

These patterns do not stop on their own.

Consciously, I know that being coupled is not necessary for my joy and well-being (often, it was a detriment). Unconsciously, I believed that staying coupled is more important than honesty or authenticity or freedom – that being uncoupled is and is to be undesirable. 

At one time, I would have classified uncoupling as an unwanted outcome of realtionship – as if the point of coupling is to stay together. Now, I am devoted to loving fully – STARTING with myself and then extending outwards – even and especially when that means uncoupling.

Although the hetero-normative hierarchy of one man/one woman oppresses us all, this is not necessarily about monogamy vs polyamory (also, because poly can be just as obsessed with privileging romantic relationships). This is also not about dismissing or denigrating romantic love – our longing for love is sacred.

This IS about how we start to examine these oppressive patterns within ourselves and how we begin to make our way back to love of self & world.

I am we.

Please note, although I will be providing information and context (including a brief history of how we came to be programmed with this human-centric and colonized version of love), I will not be "teaching" per se. I will share my personal experiences, frame some of the context & history of how we got here, and introduce a few perspectives that de-center couple-dom while encouraging a liberatory relationship to self, other (incl non-human life), and spirit. I will guide you in meditation (incl movement), reflection, journaling, and discussion. I’m imagining myself as your humble, vulnerable (possibly weepy 🥹) facilitator in this exploration. I hope you leave with sacred seeds to flourish in your many fields of connection.

I will only be offering this workshop this one time. There will be no breakout groups or one-on-one interaction. You can leave your camera off if you choose. A recording of the entire workshop will be provided to all who register. The recording (minus the Q&A) will be available for purchase in early 2023.

My hope is that this time together seeds and begins to water a beautiful practice that moves us from sorrow to sensitivity, from shame to sacredness, from striving to synchronicity...

Towards our very own hearts.

May we all know love beyond domination. 💗